Wedding Planning ... Part 3

So in Part One  I covered the basics of getting ready to start planning a wedding then gave you my list of important items I thought we needed for our wedding, in Part Two I covered the Venue. Going logically this post is going to cover the next important aspect you need to sort out early on ... registrar. 

Registrar. 

I wont spend long on how to go about this part as your venue should give you the contact details for which registry office you need to speak to about booking a registrar for your venue. I am not entirely sure what you need to do with a church as we didn't get married at church but I am sure its the same principle that the Vicar will tell you who you need to speak to about arranging the legal side. 

When we called our local office it was months before we could get an appointment and my sister had issues with when the appointments were in relation to her and her husbands working patterns. Once you go to see them they should give you a pack of information for you to organise your ceremony. We then had another meeting a few weeks before hand to go over our choices and make sure every thing was ok. 

There are two important sub items you will need to consider with both a church or civil ceremony Music and Readings. For a civil ceremony these both have to be non religious. 

Music. 

For a Civil Service you need a few pieces: 

Guests entering the room
Processional (brides entry)
Signing the Register
and your exit as Man and Wife 

As the now hubby is a big music nut he took control of this area and chose everything but my entry music which obviously I decided. 

Guest entrance - Jack Johnson Better Together & Michael Buble Everything

Processional - I edited a version of Cannon on D so I came in at the peak then it would fade out as I reached the front. 

Signing of the register - Danny Elfman Ice Dance (hubbys fav), What a Wonderful Word from Meet Joe Black, Fredric Chopin Nocturn in E-Flat 

Exit - string quartet version of Foo Fighters Everlong (because we love the Foos)  

For church you have a lot more choice as far as music is concerned as you get to throw Hymns into the mix, at the two church weddings we have been too in the last year the choice of Hymns has been lovely and its really nice to have a bit sing song. (I also love the Homliy, both we heard were given by people who knew the couple personally so they were really lovely) 

Readings.

For church these would usually be your favourite passages that suit a wedding. 

For a Civil Service this bit can be easy and difficult obviously you cant use scripture as its religious but its also really hard to pick readings that you think are appropriate. I ended up using the almighty Google, but the registry office will also give you a selection of about 20 or so approved readings. This is a good starting point but you might have heard them before or what something a little different, Google is really good I found a lot of different sites with loads of choices. I ended up filling all three reading spots as I wanted our ceremony to be as personal as the set up would allow. 

We went for: 

Our Great Adventure 

We are today still dizzy with the astonishment of love.
We are surrounded by affection - by smiles and kindliness,

by flowers and music and gifts and celebration.
Yet they enclose a silence where we are close with one another.
My eyes see only you.

I hear nothing but the words we speak to one another
This is the day we start our life together.
This is our new beginning

On Your Wedding Day 

Today is a day you will always remember
The greatest in anyone's life
You'll start off the day just two people in love
And end it as Husband and Wife

It's a brand new beginning the start of a journey
With moments to cherish and treasure
And although there'll be times when you both disagree
These will surely be outweighed by pleasure

You'll have heard many words of advice in the past
When the secrets of marriage were spoken
But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
Where the bond of true love lies unbroken

So live happy forever as lovers and friends
It's the dawn of a new life for you
As you stand there together with love in your eyes
From the moment you whisper 'I do'

And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
May success find its way to your hearts
Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
But today is the day it all starts

If You Can Always Be As Close

If you can always be as close,

And as happy as today,

Yet be secure enough to grow

And change along the way.

If you can keep for you alone

Your love as man and wife,

Yet find the time to share your joy

With others in your life.

If you can be as one

And walk through marriage hand in hand,

Yet still support the goals and dreams

That each of you have planned.

If you can dare to always go

Your separate ways together,

Then all the wonder of today

Will stay with you forever

After you decide on readings the next part is picking who you are going to get to read. This part we found really difficult, obviously you don't want to make people feel awkward who don't like reading so instead of outright asking I asked if people would like to give a reading. That way if they weren't comfortable it wasn't like we were imposing. 

In the end we decided we wanted a mix of people to represent the different groups of people we had invited. First up was my bridesmaid, she's a friend from uni and I wanted to include her as my other friend was already acting as witness and giving a speech, she also represented the wedding party. Next up was a friend from postgrad who's wedding we went to in July, she has amazing diction and represented the married world we were entering. Last up was hubby's sister to represent our two families. 

I think the different readings fit each of them quite well too, S a friend from Uni which is also a big adventure, A a married friend talking about a wedding day, then V a family member talking about being close and essentially becoming your own subfamily. 

That being said my top tips for picking your readings and readers are: 

Pick the readings first, make sure you have a good look around don't just settle for the readings offered by the Register Office. Go for readings that suit your day and you as a couple, these are the only way to really personalise a civil ceremony the rest is fairly formal. 

Think about who you are inviting, is there anyone close you would like to give a special role to but who isn't in the wedding party? Who do you want to represent with your readers ... family ... friends ... can you mix and match? Does anyone have a nice speaking voice, someone who is good at injecting a bit of umph into a simple verse? hey if all else fails pick a name out of a hat and run with it hehe 

Anyway thats all from me on Registrars. Our celebrant was amazing, he had a brilliant air about him, he didn't just read out passages from a book he spoke freely about the different parts of the ceremony and really made it very personal. Our readers were amazing they all did a fabulous job, even the celebrant commented that the readings and readers were all excellent. I might be biased as he said I was the most elegant bride he had seen in many years :D 

Our service was beautiful .... I saw 3 people after I entered the room my godfather stood right ahead of me, my friend A on the other side of the aisle ... then I looked to the front and from that moment it sounds cheesy but all I saw was J. I will never forget that look on his face in that moment.  

xXx

More ink ...

So if you are new to the blog you might want to take a look at my previous tattoo post, you see I am a bit of an ink addict. This would be find except in the profession I want to go into its best not to be covered in tattoos, so I tend to have to keep them discreet. Im doing ok though my running total is 8!!

Here is my latest one:

Me and the hubby got co-ordinating tattoos to celebrate our recent wedding. I had a few ideas in mind but ended up drawing this one up recently and it was the fav. The symbol is a forwards and backwards ornate S to celebrate our new double barrel double S surname. I like that it almost looks like a heart as well, something our tattooist pointed out.

As its quite ornate and girly I wasn't sure about how we could do it for the hubby, it was actually the tattooist who suggested that J got bold large numerals and the pattern lighter behind the date. That way the focus is our wedding date for him. For me I got it a little smaller and my numerals are thinner more feminine.

My only problem now is that I'm stick addicted but I have run out of discreet body locations :s think I might get one or two of my older ones updated and upgraded.

Ooh hubby also has another relatively new piece - he got a breast cancer ribbon on the inside of his right bicep with Great North Run 2013 £1120 (how much he raised) to mark his completion of the GNR in September and celebrate how much he raised for Breast Cancer Care. The writing is in Norse Runes and Roman Numerals thanks to a couple of medievalist friends of ours.

Thats all my tattoo updates for now, I doubt it will be the last ink I get. I just love it too much hehe

xXx

Wedding Planning .... part 2

So you have your budget all sorted and you have decided on a colour scheme. Now its time to get to real meat of the planning starting with the VENUE!

This is really important because a) its where you be getting married and b) its the most expensive part of your day. I started by looking at places we liked and made some lists, then narrowed it down by looking at the websites and comparing details.

The websites are really helpful because they can give you the main headlines for a venues wedding options without having someone try and push you to book. Its also helpful to have some information before you go to look at a place so you don't get too overwhelmed by the 'helpful' sales people. The main things you need to consider when picking a venue are:

Location:

How will people get there? If you are having two locations ie a church then reception how will guests get from one to another? I know it seems daft as its your day so people who love you will come no matter what ... but its a little bit selfish not to have some consideration of guests travel arrangements. This also includes their overnight accommodation, if they are travelling a long way guests will need to stay before the wedding and the night of.

I put this information on an "important information" sheet I sent with the invitations. I listed the top 5 nearest hotels and the venues address for those using SAT NAV, this also stops people having to contact you to check about hotels. Don't forget a lot of guests wont know the area as well as you do so may not know that the hotel they picked is actually way out of the way for the venue. 

You might find that your venue offers a discount for guests, Lumley Castle offer 10% to wedding guests when you call up and quote the name of the wedding so info like this can be put on the sheet as well that way you don't have to remember to tell people when you see them. 

Capacity: 

All the venues should have lists of how many people they can fit in each room and for which part of the day. Our venue Lumley Castle has 2 rooms licensed for ceremonies and a few more for wedding breakfasts and evening functions. Its important to look at the capacity as some places might be able to hold more people for a wedding breakfast and evening do then they can for a ceremony. 

We're quite lucky in that both rooms licensed for the ceremony could hold 80 people but when we visited I decided I wanted the bigger room as I thought 80 would be too crowded in the smaller one. Also I have been to a few weddings in that room so wanted different pictures for my own.

Price:

This is very tricky. A lot of places separate out the different sections of the package you need to pay for then have hidden costs you don't realise till you turn up and start asking questions. 

The main areas you need to look out for are:
* price of food per person
* are any drinks included in that or do you need a drinks package
* what each room costs to hire
* does room hire include decoration

The last one might sound odd but I found a venue I loved then went to visit with my mam and we found out that nothing was included. They had an "extras" package! we had gone to an open day where the venue is set up for a wedding and you can get an idea of the feel of the room. They looked stunning then we picked up this little booklet and found that everything was extra that was on view. 

I do mean everything in the ceremony room you needed  to pay for the chair covers, then any chair ties, the lovely candles in the feature fire place were extra, the foliage on the two columns even the standing candles at the ends of the aisle were extra. Then into the main room, as this venue was a stately home the room had been a large conservatory type room with lovely windows and columns. So in here the draping behind the top table that stopped you having a blank white wall was around 200, all the ivy up the columns making them look nice extra, again chair covers and chair ties needed to be provided, the centre pieces were extra they didn't have a basic option you got for free, any top table accessories all extra. We worked out for the £2000 room hire you were basically getting the rooms ready for a conference: plain chairs and table cloth's that was it they also had strange rules about the chair decorations, if you hired this out you would have to buy enough for both rooms as the venue staff wouldn't move them across but if you hired theirs you only needed one lot that could move from ceremony to wedding breakfast. It was going to cost around £800 to make the rooms feel wedding suitable. By the time you added in the food this venue priced its self out of the running.

Of course you might want a blank venue to decorate yourself  but at the end of the day no one wants to pay though the nose so getting all your prices lined up first is the best way to get your monies worth.

Last but not least the Visit:
This is the most important aspect of picking your venue for the obvious reason that pictures are not the real deal. When you do visit make sure you ask lots of questions so you can get all the information you want, if you dont ask they might not tell you. Its also good to have a general look around to get a feel for the place see if it really fits your style and idea of the day. Are there lots of places you can get pictures even if its bad weather, will your area be suitably sectioned off from any public areas (don't want random people eating your canapes etc) is getting around the venue going to be easy. If you have any guests with mobility issues does the venue have a lift or other access they could use. Lumley have a wheelchair lift which could access our room but another suite they have for receptions has a staircase between the bar and room so would not be suitable for wheelchairs or older relatives who have issues with stairs.

Once you have picked your final venue its time to have some fun. Decorations!!

xXx

Apologies ....

Sorry for my unexpected break ... life got in the way. But now things have calmed down a bit I am going to make more of an effort to actually post here regularly. I think it will also help when things in life to get a little stressed so that I can have a little escape.

Taking a break however has left me with a wealth of events, new products and other things to blog about so get ready for a few throw back posts mixed in with my new ones.

There have been a few big changes here in Durham which I cannot wait to tell you about, the biggest one which I had already started blogging about is my wedding ... it finally happened ... I am now officially a MRS :D so I will have a load of helpful planning posts and some memories from my wonderful day.

Me and the new hubby have also just bought a house .. woop woop ... So I will also have some moving and decorating posts.

Not to mention catching up with my new make up purchases, outfits and clothes I have bought over the last few months. I will also have some new posts for my fitness section about how my training and healthy eating is going.

So stay tuned ...

xXx